After we were done with our mini-series and film and after Jan Jan completed the post production of the 5 episode television work, he and Camille went to New York and Europe for a romantic and needed vacation. They visited Italy, Holland, Germany, Spain and, of course, France. they worked on a couple of videos in France and when it was time for them to return, Camille decided to stay to complete her BAC, which she had to postpone to work on the minseries and the film.

Jan Jac returned to our place of residence to promote the mini-series, whiche was going to be shown on television. We had a very good time doing that, the work was very well received, we made it to the covers of the TV Guides 5 weeks in a row, it was very exciting.

We were getting a lot of press while Camille was in France, not experiencing this part of our work, the wonderful results. Jan Jac was very sad about that but he was looking forward to their reunion later that year. Finally, at the end of the year, Jan Jac decided to go to New York and Paris to get Camille.

Camille didn't want him to go all the way to France, she had her reasons, so she went to meet him in New York.

When they arrived to New York I knew something was wrong between them. The months long separation had affected their relationship but, to my surprise, it did not affect their work.

In some way I understood that. Jan Jac and I were a couple before, we broke up but it didn't affect our work. In fact, we work better now and that's what I saw happening between him and Camille. Their work became more intense and better than at anytime before.

What Jan Jac wanted to do was to continue working on his pet project, the script he began writing in Cuba long before he met me. I read the script when we were living in New York and I have to say that it was impressive, unusual and daring.

The one thing he wanted to work with me was what he calls "The Choreography of a Crucifixion". The worked involved torture, whipping and the nailing to the wood. I volunteered to work with him, to be his victim.

We made three attempts and video tape them. That was enough for me. It was very intense in a particular way. I felt too close to the experience, but in a way that I couldn't deal with. So, when Camille came along, we convinced her to work with him on his obsession.

When they were back from New York, the started working on what we now call The Via Crucis of Camille ... but back then had a different title.

This is an experience I had for a long time... two years.

At one point during the period I call my training, JJ and I started concentrating on the experience of the cross. We worked on some kind of crucifixion set up before. In the forrest of France and in the jungles at the edge of the amazons.

We were living together. Me, the young enthusiastic actress, he the film director, professor and master.

It was in those days that we decided to concentrate on the cross. The idea was basic. We would work on a character he created in a script. I cannot reveal the nature of the script for obvious reasons. It's too good to be true.

The story is set in colonial Cuba and deals with a young woman who has a conflict with her father. She has fantasies which are very religious in nature. She thinks of herself in the place of the martys she admires so much. At one point in the story she brings about a situation where she, herself, will have a direct experience on a cross.

The character I had to work with had two forces, her life and her imagination. JJ explained to me that I had to become the character and that I would have to become the character's fantasy as well. In other words, I had to become the martyr.

I had to know what the character felt and what the martyr felt. There had to be a connection between the two. Eventually these discussions were the source for a new script for a film we made a few years later and where, again, I play a character that has a connection to a martyr.

The experience I had during what I now call the Via Crucis, is what I used to play that role. It was a great learning time for me.

I will tell you how in the following pages how I became both the girl with the fantasy and the fantasy as well.