Camille had to wait a while, I was enjoying a bit of camera work, looking through the tiny view finder, a color viewfinder, very unusual in VHS cameras. I was grateful I bought it, a little present to celebrate the development money I received from Germany for the script I was writing. It was the first time I actually received a large ammount of money just to write a story. Heaven's reward for my years of struggling trying to make a film that ended up at Cannes and in many great festivals but it never made enough money.

A journey that led me to Margot, that led me here, that led me to meet Camille, that led me to this moment. If there's any force on the will of man, this is proof of it. Did I will all of this? If not, then why is it so ... so terrifyingly perfect?

Time was flying for me, it was paifully slow for Camille... The relativity of time, essentially, was at the core of this moment. It was a battle of resistance for her, an urgency for me. I'm quite sure she was trying to impress me, while, at the same time, I wanted to do as much as I could in the time that she would stand to do this.

When I finally got to work with the camera I began a study of Camille, of her facial expressions, of the shape of her body, her body language, all of which were going to be the center of a five hour tele play and hopefully a 2 hour movie. When I first thought of the idea I didn't have anyone in mind. When I began to write the story, I still didn't have anyone in mind for this role. When I met her I knew I found her.

I was touring Camille's body with lens of the camera, feeling sorry that my video tapes were in view, promising myself that I was going to get myself a set where I could do this without the disturbing, intruding presence of video cassettes, books, and other objects that to me, at that moment, were not as distracting as I feared they would be. The fact that I was thinking about them was already a problem.

They never bothered be before, perhaps because I never felt that what I was doing should be more proffessional. Camille deserved a better set for her performance.

The first test for Camille was going very, very well. I didn't expect anything from her, I would prepared her for the role, in more training sessions such as this and in the acting workshops I was conducting everyday with all my actors. The intention of this session was to see how Camille looked through the lens and how she felt about this situation. If, as I suspected already, she was fine with this, I would take her beyond this experience, step by step, even after we make the tele-play and the movie.

I could hear my heart pounding as my extended electronic eye became intimately acquainted with Camille's soft skin. I was savoring the moment and knowing that I could not extend it beyond what was reasonable, even if I wanted this to last forever. Her hands were turning purple.