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March
5th
I had a strange experience today.
I met a guy, I like him, I would've
love to make love to him and perhaps I
would've if I was like I was before. I
never really cared before ... I just did
what I felt like doing. Now I thought
of JJ and I didn't do anything. I
saw the guy's disappointment and I felt
funny, a bit proud, a bit sad, a bit perplexed.
I often wonder if what JJ said is
true. That we are both free and
I can be with anyone I want. I'm
afraid to try, but maybe I will once. |
March 17th
For the last
few days I spent a lot of time with
Natasha in Paris. We had a great
time, I even flirted like crazy. We're
both very pretty, so guys are after
us... I kept thinking of JJ ... good
thing he's arriving soon, I don't want
to be unfaithful.
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March 20th
JJ is arriving
tomorrow, he'll first go to Paris and
then he'll come to see me here. I'm
excited and fearful. Am I changing
my feelings for him? |
March 28th
We are having a
great time. JJ is enjoying the
house in the woods. We go to bars
at night, we hitch rides, we drink and
drink. We meet new people. I'm
not worry anymore, I still have the
same feelings for him. But I know,
I like guys too and if he's far away
from me for too long, I'll just get
me a lover. In fact, he said that
he wouldn't be surprised if I did.
Somehow I don't
like the idea that he wants me to be
so free. I would like him to be
a bit jealous once in a while. I'd
like to know if he cares for me enough
to be possessive. |
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