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November 30th
What is happening?
The month is ending, so is the editing of the
film. Jan will take a break from work so we can
go to the tropics again... for at least a week.
Will he ask me to hang again? Will he take
the whip?
I'm still full of fresh memories of our last
time there. I had a few days to think ... and to
recover from my past experience. There's something
so terrible and yet so beautiful that I don't know
how to feel.
The last time in the cabin was it was scary.
One night we had a romantic, candle light evening.
No whipping, no cruelty, just us, me teasing him,
he shooting his video camera, me naked and just
in a nice mood for love. Nice. Then there was the
nail.
But next day, after we had our walk to town
with the intention of leaving for the city, Jan
was suddenly inspired and wanted to finish the tape.
After a long breakfast we returned to our cabin
in the green slopes.
He whipped me again and repeated most of the
action we already did the day before.
I was hanging from the cross, naked and whipped
when I saw from under the blindfold covering my
eyes.
I saw. Jan made something like a belt of thorns,
I saw him walking to me with them. He placed them
on my waist, pressing them, sinking the thorns in.
I didn't scream. I could only let out a moan, I
was gasping for air.
Then he lifted my feet and tied them to the
wood, away from the cement floor ... He left me
hanging there, but not for long.
He returned with the nails and his hammer.
"Crucifixion time" he said, as if he was talking
about something routine, like dinner.
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