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December
4th
We are in the tropics, we've been here for
a few days. It's so wonderful. There's something
about this place , it will always be ours. This
hotel will be ours, the cabin will be ours. I'm
such a romantic.
December 7th
I spent my birthday in the tropics. Jan gave
me a party ... a one man party, at the cabin, with
candles and everything. It was nice. On the top
of the cabin, on the second level, there are a couple
of mattresses where we slept. They are not exactly
mattresses, they are just this thick, hard things
that look like mattresses, they are made out of
straw and linen. In any case, we slept up there
the night of my birthday.
We first had a nice dinner at the bonfire,
with drinks, we had some wine and beer. Jan brought
a cake he got in the town... and lots of candles.
After eating and drinking and having a nice time
outside we made love under the moon. We took a tape
recorder this time, we listened to Cabrel and Gainsburg.
December 10th.
We are approaching the time when we have to
go away ... to Europe, even if it's weeks away,
I'm still excited. Jan is totally nuts about me,
after our experience in the cabin he can't get over
me, I'm more than a dream come true for him. This
situation is totally exhilarating for me ... it's
more than love, it's overpowering. I'm totally his
in ways I could never imagine it could happen and
he's totally mine, but in a more powerful way ...
I'm totally inside him.
That's a very ironic situation since I'm the
one that is suffering pain and humiliation ... not
as bad as it sounds, ... and yet I'm the one in
control... Every time he ties me up I know I'm in
control, I know I can ask for whatever I want and
it's mine.
It's fantastic.
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